First of all, what is gaslighting? Why is it so bad?
Gaslighting is when someone in your life invalidates your reality by denying facts or turning things around on you. It's a form of manipulation in extreme circumstances, a form of mental and emotional abuse.
Gaslighting causes the victim to start to question everything. It causes you to doubt every interaction you have with this particular person, causing a sense of chronic confusion and insecurity that can bleed into everything that you do.
When you're being gaslighted, it means that everything is "your fault" and that your feelings are "invalid."
Is this happening to you?
Here are some clues to indicate if you're experiencing gaslighting in your relationship.
Your partner frequently says things like, "You're imagining things," or "You take things too seriously," or "I was just joking." They tell you you're being paranoid or too sensitive. Sometimes they outright deny your experience. "That didn't happen," they say, or "You don't remember things clearly."
On the other side, gaslighting causes the victim to think things such as:
Maybe I'm acting crazy.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive.
Did it happen like that? Maybe it didn't.
She's not trying to hurt me or he's just playing. Maybe I'm overreacting.
Gaslighting causes you to be unsure of your reality, and why you're apologizing when there's a place inside that's certain you did nothing wrong.
The first step to overcoming this issue in a relationship is to recognize that it is an issue. And let's be clear; this does not only happen in romantic relationships. It can be a friend, sibling, coworker, or parent. It could be you for that matter.
If you find that this is the situation you're in with your significant other, you might decide to talk to a therapist. You could ask them to do so, but it will likely result in them turning the situation around and telling you there is no problem. "You're overreacting as usual." This doesn't always mean your partner is a bad person. They may be in denial.
When it comes down to it, if you realize you're being gaslighted, and you can't get through to your partner, you'll have to make a decision. Stay in the relationship, or put your sanity and mental health first and walk away.